A Rake and a Roustabout

Watch your heart when we're together, boys like you love me forever

2010-10-14T12:19:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! I'm back in olympia! It's great!

No more sleeping in my little brother's bed, no more abstinence and sobriety.

No more free housing and food.

Guess you can't have it all, can you? Oh well!

So along with my return to Evergreen, I have quite the conundrum on my hands.

And I was hoping I could pick the brains of some of y'all who have obviously acquired much wisdom in your years!

Honestly, I don't know if that was sarcasm. I'm too hungover

Alright, so here we go!
There are two boys.

Boy A: lives in Everett, works at Arbies and is a total dork, just like me. Like, he loves Pokemon and goes out on Sundays and beats people with foam swords in the park.
He's adorable and awesome and we've been talking for a few weeks and we both feel like there is an attraction.

However, We've never met and person, and the more time is going by, I feel like we're not actually ever going too. Plus he's not exactly my type. He's bigger than I like them, and a total baby face. But that's not really a determining factor to me.

Boy B: Lives next door to me! Like, we live in the same dorm. He's big into The Beatles and Bob Dylan. He plays the guitar, the harmonica, the mouth harp and he sings. All of which makes my lady parts tingle. He lived in the woods over the summer and is big into sustainability and living off the grid.

However, He is my roommate. He's broke (like me) and HE'S MY ROOMMATE (Can I say that enough?) And I can't tell if they attraction is returned.

He's expressed to me that he finds his time too valuable to to hang out with "Whoever is around" And recently we've been spending a lot of time together one on one and with friends and roommates.

One of my other roommates said I should just go for it.

What do you thing?
And what should I say to Boy A if it comes to it?

To Whom it my Concern

2010-08-01T02:33:00.000-07:00

To Whom it my Concern:

I don't wanna meet tonight. I don't even wanna meet this week.
What I do want though, is for you to email me.

I want to exchange emails. I want to exchange IMs. I want to text with you.
I want to watch movies with you over the internet.
I want to bye a mic so we can talk over skype.

And when we do mee, I want to hug. And I want to kiss.
And then I want to go see a movie. Together.
In a theater where the arms lift up in the middle of the seats,
so we can cuddle without an awkward plastic thing between us.

And when the movie is over, I want to go back to your place.
Or mine.

And I want to listen to music. and talk.
Ans I want to play video games.

I want to have a beer with you
and then I want to have another one

And when I've had one too many, I want to play strip poker
(Because I suck at poker)

And we're both naked and no longer shy,
I want to go to bed.

I bet you cant guess what I want in there.

And in the morning, while I'm making you breakfast
and you're staring out the window, with a cup off coffee,
I want to set a plate of eggs, and bacon, and sausage in front of you.
And pancakes.
And I want you to smile
And I want you to say "Thank you."
And when I sit down with nothing but a plate of bacon and sausage
you wont look at me funny.
Because long ago, I'll have told you about my disdain for eggs.
and my unique hatred for pancakes.

And when we've had our fills, we'll go shower.

And in the shower,
I want you to lather up your hands.
And touch my body.
Feel my back
kiss my neck
hold my close.

Showers aren't for THAT
Not this one.

And when we get out of the shower,
and are dry
and before you put your clothes on
deodorant on
aftershave on

I want to hold you close

And the only thing I want then

is you.

Sincerely,
Me

Boys confuse me.

2010-07-31T23:16:00.000-07:00

So I've been talking to this guy online for the last couple of weeks, and I we were kind of hitting it off. It was enough that I was thinking of going on a date or two with him to see if there was anything there to build on.

And then we had this conversation.

Him: I don't see you as gay. You're just a guy who is into other guys.

Me: What?

Him: When someone says "Gay" I think of limp wrists and rainbows.

Me: I am gay as the day is long, hun. Queer as a three dollar fucking bill. To me gay is everything from limp wrists and rainbows to guys elbow deep in other guys asses.

It got me thinking.

I don't think I can be with someone as uncomfortable with his sexuality as this guy is. He doesn't like flamers. Like, to the point where he wont actually consider being friends with anyone who is overly flamboyant.

He tells his friends he's bisexual, and hasn't told his parents yet (which, from what I understand is a smart choice)

But I'm not ready to go back in the closet. I'm out and I'm never going back.

The Breakup (Or: What a Horrible Movie!)

2010-07-23T10:38:00.000-07:00

First: A little something to set the mood.

Ladies, Gentlemen, and everyone in between, I present to you:

The Breakup song!

Now, this song has nothing to do with our relationship or how it ended.

I just really liked the song when we broke up.

Patrick, Aka: Peppermint (Pat = Patty = Peppermint Patty = Peppermint) and I broke up the same day that his parents told me they thought of me as family. Which I thought was a good revelation for them.

They chose Love, instead of Hate. Which is a step in the right direction.

Now, Pat seems to like summers being single. Cause we broke up once before. May of last year. We spent the summer fucking and spending most of our time together, but I let him call himself single until he tried to move into my dorm in September.

This time! We were in Colfax, and spending the night in his dad's office. We had just gotten back from subway.

I turned to him, and I asked, just out of the blue.

Are we ok?

I dunno. Maybe.

Obviously this worried me.

Maybe?

Yeah, I dunno. I'm gonna go play WoW

Uh, no you arn't. We're gonna talk about this. Do you still love me?

Honestly? I dunno.

Pause

No, I don't think so. No

So, with much tears (on his part) and silent anger (On my part) we ended the relationship.

We still talk.

Well, He still talks. When I wanna talk to him, he doesn't have the time, or he has to rush away. Or he's driving. He apparently does a lot of driving.

Just like always, it's on his terms, or it's not happening.

So mostly it's not happening.

I'm ok with this

A Fresh Start

2010-07-22T23:59:00.000-07:00

I guess it's time to come clean to anyone left reading this.

I'm not the same person I was when last I updated things. So, let's start again.

Hey. My name is Michael. It's nice to meet you.
I live in Gig Harbor, Wa. And, this is the exciting part boys, I'm single.
Yep, you heard it here first!

So I figure, I'm Out anyway. To all my friends, and all my family. So no point hiding my identity here too right? Really all those silly nicknames were just...well, Silly huh? Whatever.

I'm not in Olympia anymore. Hence the name change...
and I guess I have become much more of a Rake. When last we spoke, Patrick was the only boy I've slept with. That number's gone up a bit. Including once with a straight redneck. That was fun. Maybe I'll tell that story a little bit later. It's actually pretty fun in retrospect.

I do have someone in mind for my next relationship. But that's also another story. One that'll probably posted soon, cause there is a lot on my mind about that.

Also: Has anyone noticed how hot Mike Posner is?

Mmmmm. I would let that man do horrible things to me in bed.

Alright guys! I'm out for now, I'll update soon! Promise!

XO -Michael-